Being forced to flee your home country and live involuntary in another country can be an extremely stressful life event that can affect both emotionally and physically for a long period of time.

You may have experienced such challenging conditions in your home country that you saw no other way but to leave everything behind. You may have been separated from family and friends. The flight to safety may also have been associated with traumatic events and uncertainty.  

Having lived through these experiences, you then arrive in a new country. Here you want to build a new life and will possibly face new challenges, while also going through a healing process. In this article, we will explain why it is natural to feel lost, stressed and physically and mentally affected.  

Challenges in the new country 

Everyone who has experienced war, armed conflict, human rights violations, or persecution has unique stories and experiences. Reactions to these difficult events vary from person to person, but it is common for mental and physical health to be affected. Some people develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after having experienced severe trauma.  

These difficult experiences will in one way or another be carried with you wherever you are. Having to deal with stressful and burdensome experiences in a completely new country can add further stress to an already vulnerable situation.

You don't know the country, you don't know the language, you don't know how the society works and you have lost your social network. It is common to feel that the situation you have found yourself in is difficult or even threatening sometimes and that there is little you can do to influence or manage the situation.

This often leads to stress, anxiety, and suffering. This stress, known as post-migratory stress, can affect your ability to recover from the trauma you have experienced. 

In this situation, it is common to feel: 

1. fear due to the danger you have been exposed to,
2. helplessness, not being able to control and influence your life,
3. grief over losing your home, your network and identity,
4. disappointment over shattered dreams for the future, 
5. guilt over those you have left behind,
6. anger over the situation and setbacks in the new country,
7. loneliness and alienation in a foreign country. 

Being safe in a new country can bring a sense of calm and relief, but for some this feeling can be temporary. Moving to a new culture often makes everyday life more difficult to cope with.  

It can be both practically challenging and emotionally difficult to:  

1. lack work as well as financial and material resources,
2. lack a permanent residence you can call home,
3. lose your language and your identity,
4. miss the status you had in your home country. Like social, public, economic, cultural or religious status,
5. feeling anxious about the situation in your home country,
6. worry about loved ones left behind or about separation from family and friends,
7. Experience a long and arduous asylum process, or only have a temporary residence permit and face an uncertain future in a country where you may not feel welcome.  

It is common not to recognize yourself and the new way of living your life when you enter a new social context. In the new country, many things are different, and you must learn to navigate completely new situations. At the same time, it can be challenging to communicate, share your experiences, and absorb all the information you need when you don't speak the same language. Children often have the ability to learn the language more quickly and thus enter society, while for parents, it can take longer. This can create a sense of helplessness and exclusion. 

Migrating to a new culture also means belonging to a minority in the new society. Being an immigrant can affect how you perceive your status and identity. It is easy to feel that you are not included and accepted in the new society - or even discriminated against and harassed.  

These are all examples of factors that have a major impact on physical and mental well-being. Living in an unpredictable situation with limited resources and opportunities to influence one's future increases feelings of stress, anxiety, disappointment, anger, and resignation. Experiences of discrimination, insecurity, and exclusion can also reawaken memories of past traumatic events and impair mental health.  

Long-term changes can create stress 

A multitude of stressful events and a lack of control over a prolonged period can, in time, create imbalances in the body. This can in turn lead to additional stressful events and situations.  

Common signs of too much stress are: 

1. pain in the body, 
2. lack of concentration and memory problems, 
3. mood swings, low mood, depression and anxiety.  

It is common to experience stress when arriving in a new country. How you adapt can have an impact on your experience of this stress. It is important to remember that settling into a new place takes time. It is a slow process of making the place you are currently in your own. It is natural that during this time, questions arise about living in exile and wanting to return home. But it may also feel possible for you to feel at home in more than one country. 

Maintaining your identity from your home country can be a protective factor against ill health when you are trying to establish an identity in the new country's culture. It is often helpful to seek support from people of the same origin as well as from people with a different cultural background. 

Finding a sense of belonging also has a positive impact on mental health. Above all, the closeness of family and friends plays an important role. Stress levels are usually lowest when you are with loved ones, knowing that they are safe.  

How to manage your well-being and feelings of exclusion 

Given the difficult situation you are in it can be hard to see solutions, but here are some advice: 

1. For many people, it can be challenging to talk about how they feel since mental illness can be associated with shame and taboo. Try to decide that it is okay to share your thoughts and feelings.
2. Review your social contacts and network. Is there someone you trust, whom you would like to share your experiences with and can give you support? 
3. Think about what is stressing you out and try to distinguish between what you can influence and what you cannot. Can you remove one stressful thing in your life?
4. Work on finding meaning in your new everyday life by doing things that make you feel good, such as listening to music, going for a walk, practicing a hobby, or doing things together with others.
5. Try to maintain daily routines, such as getting enough sleep, physical activities and eating regularly. This can allow your body some peace.
6. Create new routines to accommodate the new situation, such as dropping children off at school and attending daily activities.
7. Participate in social contexts, such as in an association or religious communities.
8. Participate in language courses and language cafés to practice the language. Being able to communicate in your new country can be meaningful and boost your confidence. 
9. Avoid alcohol and drugs that can exacerbate stress and make you feel worse. 

 

To mourn the loss to ones country

Grief is a painful but normal reaction. You can mourn the loss of a family member and a loved one, but you can also mourn the loss of your country, identity, home, plans and dreams for the future.  

If the loss leads to a loss of expectations and hope for the future, the reaction can be long-lasting and even lead to illness and depression.  

The first period after a loss is often shaped by a desire to understand what has  happened. You may feel lost and empty or that life has lost it´s meaning.  

The uncertainty of not knowing what has happened to your family can also lead to grief. Beeing torn between hope and despair, unable to grieve or fully feel joy.

Grief is often combined with feelings of guilt or helplessness towards the people or family members that are left behind in the country of origin, or guilt for not having been able to provide a safe upbringing for their children. 

Help in grief and bereavement 

Grief activates the same systems in your body as when you feel anxiety and stress. Here are some advice what can help when you feel grief and loss:   

1. Try to build new relationships and to seek new social contexts. You can join a cultural or sports club, visit language cafés and libraries, take part in activities organized by religious communities, or meet others in similar situations.
2. Maintain the relationships with family, relatives and friends in your home country that you wich to keep in touch with. This can increase security and boost your self esteem.
3. Get back to routines and things you used to do in your home country that were important in your everyday life.
4. Don't isolate yourself with your thoughts and feelings. Share them with someone you trust or who are in a similar situation as you.
5. Get involved in volunteering. Helping others can take the focus off yourself while making you feel needed.
6. Prayers and religious rituals can provide comfort and strength for people of faith.
7. Practicing the language of the new country can increase your confidence in communication.
8. Making your family feel comfortable and safe creates a sense of belonging.